"审美者的人格缺陷：审美者对于他者而言是不透明的，他是他所栖身其间的世界中的一个“异乡人”。审美者的表现让人难以捉摸，他的行为常常表现为一连串相互悖反的“情绪”：此时多愁善感，彼时冷酷无情；此时风趣幽默，彼时悲伤感怀；此时激情洋溢，彼时忧郁绝望。靠着这些“情绪”，他维持着与世界的关联，寻找着生活当中“有趣的”东西。更有甚者，审美者人格的这种不透明性扩散到了自身，他对于自身都是个谜。审美者缺乏生活的目标，因而几乎丧失了生存的耐心，他听任生活之流从他身旁经过而常常无动于衷。"

------that’s why theories(abstractive discussion) always thrilling for the ones who introspective oriented. (they always did.) But how such penetrate happen? Just don’t judge things from your common sense. Well, anyway I don’t believe it. And first of all, nothing interesting in it(am I of aestheticism? You can guess).

I must retort another view point here, which conceive that the theories are just judges. And such view is always not coming from the ignorance, but the half-known(have little knowledge and no comprehension). It’s right the author always have a stand point, and always, he/she told something on purpose---that’s which we should watch when readiing, but it doesn’t mean that the articles\thesis\theories are of the direct or immediate purposes which means he wrote just for one purpose of absolute bias aim at a limited thing(or things). Well, I’m not going to raise metaphisics saying things---what I would like to tell is that theories has their own right and you can take it as you own like and oriented. Ok ..wish I expressed well, which the theories are not in the schema  of“right-wrong”, but it exist as a product of spirit, you can just fetch what you like and enjoy them, and better with a concrete intelligent to view them. Sure, casting back where it come from and how it happened is a most thrilling game in it, and maybe the most creative one.

By the way, in morning, the minds are always more pure and sentimental that it could overcome the uncomfortableness and hesitation the day time add to you.

Once the cam make the imagination fly, the world was changing. We can bear the lonely but we usually cannot bear it when induced by communication. And it comes to with more truth when you found that you are born for nothing.

Well the problem is that you are commonplace---probably you just accepted it recently—but you have accepted it so completely that you don’t feel the wasting of time any more. Though the time is passing by quick as before, you won’t feel it Well, if you let me judge, I will say you quite get it that you finally touch the ground and find the truth of the world, and I will congratulations that you will never feel pain anymore for all the pain is rooted between desire and the ability of fulfilling it. Once the youth of literature and art accepted that he or she has no talent that he or she will be the typical “man with nothing”. For the things which he once holds for noble now is which let him into the quite opposite way. Once they change their mind that means they have already died and ---if fortunately--- reborn. But it will reasonable for why I don’t like them: they are famous for their spirit that their goal is create new spiritual creatures, but they have the fragile mind that if the goal is hopeless in sight, their mind broken but meanwhile, their sentimental keeping on, that’s also why they sighing in regret on trifling things. And sure the sighing is not they find the sorrow in the world, but in the stupid mood of agreeing themselves.

That’s why String regardless of the embarrassment---probably far more than embarrassment---that she keep on walking into the heart of the game.

Once my friends had talked about the sense of rite, which you always have the desire to given some of your life scene a more important meanings and probably made them icons that you would found yourself has been of a full life by them. And WH said that she want to own the sense of rite because she hasn’t an endless life. Well that’s what I would like talk on the sense of rite for when I thought of my star called “String” I found that she wouldn’t a girl of the sense of rite. 

“How come a person thought of such irrelevant two things together?”

When I was induced to tell such a sentence as before, there was did something happened, which I confused of my mind condition and the confusing even made the situation more messy, then, I found it’s a lie, and I’m a liar, which pretend eloquent and trying to persuade myself that I was finding something new, something thrilling minds and really new. But It’s not, not that they really happened at the same time, which I reminded one before and the other later.

In short, I planned to discuss such two sentence (“只要系统调整得足够剧烈,任何陈述都可以认为是真的。”“每种语言都以特有的、‘任意的’方式把世界分成不同的概念和范畴。”)before, when I was just finished my shower and sit at my bed and trying to be a contemplator. I found that they were did thrilling me as before but the thrilling seems really too cheep if I cannot tell what I really think about them, in other words, if I cannot tell something by my words, the reviewing of them will meaningless. Then this as follows is what I was thinking about them at that time (or until now):

As to the idea themselves, they are critical but they are ideal. And they are statements that aimed at the huge picture(or worldview). They are thrilling me just like the Jesus thrilling believers at that moment. But how could they made me feel that way? Is that wisdom to recognize that there are no definete things exist, which we are just explaining our lives---in fact, involing in such a question is dead-end. Just walk into a definite thing you’ll see which you doomed or you just don’t care about and could find the way out easily. Yeah, there are always the possible way out, but the problem is if you have the abillity to find it------get such a place, could I feel better that I just stop here and go to the other problem which I thought of when I stood from my bed and while I walking to my PC?

The other problem is, if I could give it a title, “Walk straight through the hall”. It’s the metaphor I explained for the thing which I indulging in. But if it’s true that I’m peeping human heart or I just enjoy myself in it, it’s need time to prove. I do care.

(一)
他深知，这个东西是不能作为梦想的，无奈欲望催逼，它不是梦想却具有了梦想的形状。即使面带嘲讽也不能掩盖他汲汲营营的丑态。但当时他还没有学会用宣称作为个体的局限，来为自己所欲望的此类不甚优雅之事获得权利。即使已经脱离了为庞大事件所裹挟并毫不自知的极端盲目，他精神上好大喜功的盲目仍显而易见——也正是因此，他不能为他所正追求之事辩解。因为显而易见，在他好大喜功的精神欲望看来，这是不足取的。

追求善或某种善，从来没有失掉过其威仪和美好。即使在极端怀疑主义者心中，都很难对它有所微词，至多，他们把它放置一旁不加理会。当然这是在说追求善变成追求某种具体的善并由此产生（身体或精神上的）暴力之前。

自由在他看来显然是某种善，并早已具有神圣的权力。它作为他精神上的倚靠是强有力的。但事实上，这一切一开始就发生在一种并不明确的状况中，换句话说，他向往的是一种并不明确的自由，而因其经常和受控的挫折感相联，这种自由的向往在他身上实际上是非常情绪化的，而这种应激般的自由行为，（一旦被意识到，）毫无疑问被判定为是愚蠢的——对他来说，还往往是尴尬的——仔细观察便知，宣称自由后来在他已经变成一种羞耻，如果他还在乐此不疲，只能证明这个东西已经被真正放弃，而且已被很犬儒地置于“扯谈”的领域。

本来，他的伪梦想和伪自由能一拍即合，但是因为这种狼狈为奸过于明显，以他的敏感，这是不可能被接受的。

而在所有颇成熟和老练的态度或言谈看来，这答案已经由唯一变成了无数版本，“脚踏实地”以其被极度扭曲的意义，正变成一个越来越巨大的偶像。每个人都在用它说服别人或说服自己：接受自己本来的状态，接受事物客观的规律，接受生存无疑的底线，享受此刻的每一分钟。。。他并不反对这些，即使以他好大喜功的精神看来，这种受控的理智无疑有些可悲，但他从不想干涉别人的生活，他只关心自己的心灵。因此，他可悲地发现，他并不爱人。

然而很容易看出，他显然虚张声势的心灵没有看上去那般强大，生理上的恶心在精神无法解毒的情况下，让他觉出的渺小，也让他觉出“说服”的必要。

他的高谈阔论生涯便是从此处开始的。

(二)